Culture v. Faith
I frequently tell my wife that I would not want to raise children today. It seems like the world has turned so very brutal, divisive, and malicious. Hate and vitriol have taken center stage and a “for-us or against-us” mentality roams about seeking whom it can destroy. The world blasts our children through their phones, their computers, and their televisions with narcissism, materialism, secular humanism, and a spirit of entitlement. It even attacks their gender and sexual identities.
John MacArthur speaks of our culture’s “war against children.” He reminds us of the attacks on the family, the cultural changes to the definition of marriage, and the 62 million children “slaughtered in the womb” since abortion was made legal in the 1970’s. And if children are born, he says, they have only a 50% chance of being born into a family where the parents are married. They will probably attend public school to be exposed to largely “anti-God, anti-Christ, and anti-Scripture” influences for 12-13 years, minimum. MacArthur rightly observes that of the all the insidious tactics used by culture, the targeting of children is particularly distressing. Troublingly, many Christians live like they are oblivious to the presence of this cultural predatory beast.
When I reflect on this for a moment, it frightens me. I fear for my grandchildren, trying to resist a culture that chants their faith is nothing more than self-imposed self-denial. I am afraid for my adult children who are seemingly dismissive to sinful influences in their children’s lives, much more their own. I am scared for my congregation who is witnessing the spiritual kidnapping of our children by culture after high school yet most of us are personally doing nothing about it.
So exactly how are Christian parents supposed to personally protect their children from insidious worldly influences? How do Christians fight for the spiritual survival of our children against a world seeking to devour them? What are we personally doing to help the next generation of Christians (both adults and children) drowning in a riptide of cultural wickedness? What strategies and tactics are we using to respond to this spiritual warfare?
I am not one to hyper-spiritualize life - we live in a real world - but I think most believers would agree that an ordinary life of prayer, devotion, Bible study, and journaling spiritually prepares us for our battles. Couple these with Sunday service and a Small Group, and you have the makings of an ordinary, battle-ready Christian, ready for the ordinary battles of an ordinary Christian life. But I wonder whether this is enough in a battle for the souls of our children. Will an ordinary Christian life (presuming we have one) prevent our children from being swept away by the tide of a godless world? Is it enough?
I scan Matthew 24 to read of end times replete with false prophets, wars and rumors of wars, famine, earthquakes, and people betraying and hating each other. But presently concerning to me is verse 12, which warns us of increased wickedness and a time when love toward others will grow cold.
We live in a culture of increasing wickedness, no doubt. We live in a time when love is absolutely diminishing from non-believers and between non-believers. Flip on the evening news or glance at your phone and you will see a tsunami of hate-filled speech, intolerance, and people publicly eviscerating each other. It is everywhere - an utter absence of love.
Believers have responded to this culture of hate by isolating ourselves, living life with like-minded believers, and limiting our exposure to poisonous cultural influences (maybe perpetuating diminishing love?) But isolation provides no quarter because we are still bleeding children. Isolation is doing nothing to prevent our putrid culture from eating the meat from our children’s bones and spitting our faith back at us.
Given this, perhaps our response to the influences of culture needs to be more than isolation and reliance on ordinary Christian living. Perhaps a greater effort is warranted.
Unconditional Love
The New Testament writers use three different words translated into English as “love.” Phileo generally refers to brotherly love, storge is filial (family) love, and agape is used when describing unconditional, sacrificing, generous, and volitional love. Agape is used to describe how:
God loves us:
• "God loved [agape] the world; He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16);
• "But God demonstrates his own love [agape] for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8);
• ". . . because God is love [agape]." (1 John 4:8).
We are to love God:
• "Love [agape] the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." (Matthew 22:37);
• "Love [agape] the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.” (Mark 12:30);
• "Love [agape] the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind.” (Luke 10:27).
So, exactly what is agape love?
Believers and non-believers alike have human affection for one another. Both marry, develop friendships, love family, love their children, and support their favorite causes.
Just like believers, non-believers love others. So, when God commands Christians to agape love Him, is He asking us for more than simple human affection?
Just as all Christians understand that we worship God in the exact manner He prescribes (Nadab and Abihu provide a poignant reminder), we are to love God in the exact manner He prescribes. No spiritual gymnastics are required to see that the text in Matthew, Mark, and Luke plainly commands us to agape love our God.
So, what is agape love and how are we supposed to agape love God?
In an article included next in this series, Haddon W. Robinson makes a very interesting statement about the word agape. He comments that the word is “seldom used” outside of the Bible. And that “classical scholars state it is only used four times outside the sacred writings of Scripture.”[1]
He didn’t provide any backup for the comment, but since he is a Distinguished Professor of Preaching, Senior Director for the Doctor of Ministry Program, and interim President of Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, I am going to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and presume it is true for a moment.
Why then did the New Testament writers commandeer the word agape for use in our holy writings instead of using another readily-available word (Phileo, Storge, Ahad)? More so, why pick a seldom used word for such a critical concept - one that describes God’s love for us, our love for Him, and our love for others?
I am no linguist, but it seems to me the writers may have been trying to highlight the fact that this was a different type of love – a love that is something other than ordinary, garden variety, human love. Otherwise, they would have used ordinary, garden variety words to describe it. But Scripture teaches that agape love is not ordinary. It is unconditional, generous, self-sacrificing, and volitional love – it is a perfect love. It is a love expressed by action - a doing love. This goes way beyond human love - this is divine love.
Scripture teaches that agape love, at its inception, arrived as God’s love for us. It is first-in-time love; God loved us before we even existed. Without God’s first-in-time agape love for us, we would have remained oblivious to God, blind to all spiritual matters, and dead in our sin and trespass. Agape is first-in-time love that happens by choice, depends on no one else, self-sacrifices, and is completely unconditional.
As humans, we lack the constituent ability to generate this sort of love, much less return such love to God. Divine love, by definition, cannot be humanly sourced. Our personal affection for God is human, not divine. It is also reciprocal, not first-in-time. It exists only as a response to His love for us. In other words, it is not agape love. And since God clearly commands us to agape love Him, we have a problem.
Is God commanding us to love Him in a way that is impossible?
The 5th Century conflict between Augustine and Pelagius brushed up against this very topic. In Confessions, Augustine wrote: [speaking to God] “Give [me] what you command, and command [me to do] what you will.”[2] His prayer evinced a belief in God to equip us with everything needed to do whatever His sovereign will demands, regardless of whether we think it is impossible or not. Applied to agape, we believe that God will equip us to love Him with first-in-time agape love despite the fact that it appears logically impossible.
Pelagius argued it would be absurd for God to command the impossible. He would not command people to do what they could not. He argues that human beings are already designed by God himself to carry out His will - so why ask God to be equipped to do so?
When this reasoning is applied to agape love, it claims we are designed with the free-will ability to express first-in-time divine love. But it offers no solution to how we are to express it toward God (as commanded) who loved us before we ever existed.
The laws of reason inform us that we cannot give God “first-in-time” agape love, despite Pelagian assurances because you cannot have two “firsts.” Mutual “first-in-time” love defies logic. God was first and already beat us to the love punch.
God provided us, however, with others. God designed us to express first-in-time agape love to others - both believers and non-believers alike. We are commanded by God to voluntarily love others before they even know us, without expectation of reciprocal love, set our affections on them, and to live a life devoted to them – a mirror of the exact first-in-time agape love God has for us.
• Love [agape] your neighbor as yourself. (Matt 5:43; 19:19; 22:39; Mark 12:31, 33; Luke 10:27; Rom 13:9, Gal 5:14; Jas 2:8)
• Love [agape] one another just as I have loved you. (John 13:34; 15:12)
• This I command you, to love [agape] one another. (John 15:17)
• Love [agape] does no wrong to a neighbor. Therefore, love [agape] is the fulfillment of the law. (Rom 13:10).
Graciously, God not only provides us with others, but assures us that whatever we do in love for others, will be accepted by God as being done for Him. This means more than thanks for our acts of charity and kindness toward others. This is applicable to agape love. Our first-in-time, sacrificial love for others [believers and non-believers alike] is accepted by God as our agape love for Him. God designed us (or equipped us) to express first-in-time agape love for Him through our first-in-time agape love of others. In fact, this is how God specifically commands us to love Him.
John 21 describes a beachside breakfast encounter between the disciples and the resurrected Lord that makes this association: Verses 15 – 17:
Then when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love [agape] me more than these do?" He replied, "Yes, Lord, you know I love [phileo] you." Jesus told him, "Feed my lambs.“
Jesus said a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love [agape] me?" He replied, "Yes, Lord, you know I love [phileo] you." Jesus told him, "Shepherd my sheep."
Jesus said a third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love [phileo] me?" Peter was distressed that Jesus asked him a third time, "Do you love [phileo] me?" and said, "Lord, you know everything. You know that I love [phileo] you." Jesus replied, "Feed my sheep.
Let’s screech to a stop for a moment to digest this point.
In the Lord’s post-resurrected state, He twice asked the Apostle Peter if his love was agape (divine). Peter twice assured him that it was phileo (brotherly) love. Lastly, the Lord asks if Peter if his love is a phileo love and Peter assures Him it is. The Lord twice asked about agape love and is assured of phileo love each and every time.
What is up with that?
Very little scholarship on this point - no light bulb explanations. But in the context of our present discussion, let us not miss the association. Each time the Lord asks if Peter’s love is agape, Peter unwittingly confirms it is not, so the Lord mentions others. There is a clear association between our love for the Lord and love of others.
And let us pause to consider the context for a moment. This discussion of love and others immediately follows the Lord providing these men with a week’s worth of “other-side-of-the-boat” fish, building a fire, and baking them a hot breakfast of fish and bread. Before the disciples even knew he was there, the Lord was preparing to be graciously hospitable to them. This kindness wasn’t simply because the Lord is nice - it was contextual. It demonstrated the agape love the Lord was asking Peter about – a first-in-time, unconditional, generous, volitional love of other.
When this was revealed to me, I froze like a deer caught in headlights.
Wait, what?
You mean I am supposed to love God in a certain way? Blink, blink. What about all the prayers I’ve prayed? What about the Bible studies, devotionals, classes, books, and seminars? What about the giving and all the sermons - my spiritual growth and the Scripture I’ve read since being saved? Doesn’t all of this prove my love of God?
Yes, it does. And to the extent the prayers, lessons, books, givings, and seminars were used to love others, they were accepted by God as agape love – the love God is asking for - from me.
(Mind fully blown.)
Scripture teaches us that agape love is grounded in the knowledge that each person is created in the image of God. The Imago Dei (image of God) is a flicker of God’s holiness within each of us – a birthmark from the Creator in believer and nonbeliever alike. Its presence reminds us of the intrinsic value of everyone to God. We remember the Imago Dei as we feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, invite the stranger in, clothe the naked, care for the sick, and visit the prisoner.
Charity alone, however, reflects acknowledgment and sympathy, not agape love. More is needed for agape love. Giving a handout to someone at our front door may be kind, but it does much less than inviting the person inside for a meal. At the door, we offer momentary connection; inside, we open our lives and seek relationship. Agape love demands that we do more than simply acknowledge the Imago Dei.
Agape love goes beyond the threshold of individual worth, charity, and connection - and embraces a concern for the physical and spiritual welfare of others. It openly vests itself in the lives and spiritual well-being of others, it seeks out opportunities to serve others, and dedicates itself to the benefit of others. It is first-in-time.
Wow. Sounds great. How in the world are we supposed to muster all this up?
The truth is that we don’t have to.
God’s agape love is certainly experienced by a believer. We all experienced it at salvation and continue to experience His love throughout our Christian lives. But God’s divine love cannot be humanly generated. We do not have the spiritual ability to generate agape love - it is divine, not human.
Believers are only a conduit for divine love. God expresses agape love through believers to others. Agape love passes through the heart of the believer from the indwelling Spirit and out to others as the object of divine affection and grace.[1] In this way, the believer simply channels God’s character and agape love for others (and is personally changed while doing so). The believer rests in the knowledge there is nothing to self-generate and simply focuses on expressing God’s love for others.
Magnificently, not only does God give us the desire to do this, but He counts every spiritual blessing He expresses through our lives to others as our agape expressions of love for Him. Consequently, we seek every relational opportunity to express divine love. My life becomes about agape love of others because it expresses my agape love of God.
Love of Others
When I was saved, my faith began and ended with my experience of God and what happened to me. It was a faith about my salvation experience, my sin, my sanctification, my purpose, my petitions, and my ministry. It was about what God was doing with me. It was a self-absorbed faith. Slowly, God lifted my stiff-necked chin and encouraged me to focus less on myself and more on Him - changing my focus from the one who was saved, to the One who saves. As I did this, I grew in faith and fell deeper in love with the Lord.
Over time, however, I developed a life of faith life largely built around the struggle between what I am and what I should be - between flesh and spirit. My spiritual “battles” were internal, such as the consistent practice of my spiritual disciplines, controlling my tongue, overcoming temptation, and living obediently for God. They were mostly concerns of self - personal struggles - arising from a faith of self-improvement.
Slowly, God took my uplifted chin and pointed it directly toward others asking me to pursue a faith focused on others. Instead of a faith built upon my salvation, my sin, and my sanctification, He asked me to live a faith built upon biblical “suffering” for others - bearing the burdens of others, serving others, encouraging and comforting others, praying over others, discipling others, hosting others, teaching others, and reconciling others to God. God asked me to replace my faith-of-self with a faithof-others - a faith primarily centered upon agape love of others.
This was a game changer for me and my thoughts about Christian living. I was convicted beyond words, and I have purposed to cultivate a holy preoccupation with the welfare of others. I suspect others will soon preoccupy my thoughts, practices, and prayers, without much effort - agape love of others has captured my heart completely.
Biblical Hospitality
We express the agape love of God when we utter the right word at the right time into the right soil. When we share the comfort of the Comforter, find the strength to bear another’s burdens, offer a meal to a friend, give a timely hug to the lonely. It is in those sweet moments of spiritual encounter where God is noticeably present - places of spiritual impact - places of love, transformation, and spiritual connection.
Agape turns lives of isolation into lives of community, lives without purpose are given meaning, and lives of the willing are used in service to the lives of others. Agape turns lives of reprobation into lives of salvation. In those sweet places of spiritual encounter, where opportunity, spiritual transformation, and grace all collide, agape is expressed
In fact, agape is experienced in the human heart only as it is imparted or expressed to others. Chafer claims, “These divine graces are not produced in every Christian’s heart. They will be achieved only by those who are ‘by the Spirit walking.’ He called agape the expressions of God’s heart in human character.
So agape compels us to open our lives and our homes to all, regardless of race, religion, age, sexual orientation, political persuasion, or economic status. We die to preconceived notions about others and purposely open our hearts and lives to everyone and anyone the Lord brings across our path. We abandon the image of ourselves that we want to present to others. Instead, we purpose to live openly and honestly, concentrating on the needs of others, the comfort of others, and the spiritual growth of others.
We die to worry about whether our house is nice enough or the few dirty dishes in the sink. We die to concerns that there are too few chairs or that our kids misbehave, or our neighborhood is a little sketchy, or our apartment is too cramped. We push past it and purpose to live openly – warts and all - and do what we can, with what we have, when we can, for the benefit of others.
We muzzle our exaggerated need for privacy and unbending attachment to plans and agendas. We permit ourselves to be inconvenienced by others and we adopt a posture of openness and welcome that finds room for all God’s people, any time or any place. We serve as a ready and willing vessel to express God’s love and character to others.
Love of Other and our Children
I am reminded of the story of Jacob and Esau. Esau was a hairy hunter dude - a man’s man. And Jacob, well, he wasn’t. He hung out in the tent with his mom and the girls and cooked (Gen 25:27; 25:29).
The story describes how Jacob bamboozled Esau out of his birthright with a sack lunch and then poached his patriarchal blessing with fraud – with his mother’s help. Scripture describes Jacob’s labor to reconcile with his brother years later in life with a processional apology of gifts, servants, and family. At the end of the procession, Jacob fell at Esau’s feet in contrition and asked for forgiveness. And despite the egregious offenses, Esau kissed Jacob and they wept.
Lost in the crowd of family, flocks, soldiers, and servants, was little Joseph. He watched his estranged and aggrieved uncle forgive the egregious sins of his deceptive Father – brother forgiving brother. It was a lesson he carried into adult life; into Pharaoh’s palace. Want to know if you are truly Christian? Ask your children. They’ll tell you if your walk lives up to your talk.
So, what sort of faith do our children see in us? Do our children watch us struggle to share hospitality with others, or struggle to attend Sunday service during football season? Do they see weekly fellowship with others at the dinner table or a plate in front of the television with the evening news most nights? Do we model authentic Christian attributes or put on a pious façade? Do we love others, or do we admire ourselves showing love toward others?
CS Lewis said, “Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains.” God is shouting to us in the loss of our children to the world. He shouts to Bethel Church of Houston to become “more intentionally relational and more intentionally invitational.” This is an individual and collective call to a faith focused on others. A faith that fights back against a culture-of-self, world-of-self, and a faith-of-self with a faith-of-others. God calls us to go above and beyond ordinary Christian living in our passion for others and calls us live a life of faith authentically sold out to the welfare of others; ever ready to express agape love of God.
When we do this, the next generation of Christians participate in a faith of community, not isolation. A faith of intimacy, not apathy. They participate in a faith that gets involved, is inclusive and hospitable, welcoming everyone. A faith realized in practice, not only words. A faith where we pursue expressions of agape love, not benchmarks of personal growth. A faith that focuses on others instead of self. Our children see us participating in a faith that is dissatisfied when not blessing others, deaf to the clamoring of a noisy culture.
Such a seismic change in Christian living – such an extraordinary labor in loving others - is our warfare in the battle for the souls of our children and the next generation of Christians. Our tactic? We live to get next to people and express the agape love of God to them.
Lastly, it seems to me that agape love is like a lion. We do not need to defend it, we need to release it. When we do, it will defend itself, us, and our children.
Soli Deo Gloria.
[1] Lewis Sperry Chafer, “Doctrinal Summarization: Love,” Systematic Theology, 7,8, (Kregel Publications, Grand Rapids, MI, 1948), 230.
[2] Haddon W. Robinson, “Two Traits of Agape Love,” Journal of the Evangelical Homiletics Society, 15:2 (September 2015): 60-63.
[3] Augustine, On the Gift of Perseverance, 53, “although I published [the Confessions] before the Pelagian heresy had come into existence, certainly in them I said to my God, and said it frequently, ‘Give what you command, and command what you will.’ Pelagius at Rome could not stand these words of mine.” NPNF 5:547.
[4] Chafer, 232.